7 Parenting Lessons from a Childcare Center

Before I was a mother of two, I ran an art program at a childcare center for six years where I led classes for babies and children ages two months to five years. I understood childhood development from courses I took in college, but my work experience gave me some valuable insight into raising a child.

Children, especially as they get older, want to be seen as competent and important. It’s reactive for me to burst out in anger when my daughter, Laina, misbehaves and perhaps easier to tell her what to do, but I know she will be more responsive if I give her the power to create her own outcome.

1. Interest derived learning: I don’t know about you, but when I was in school, I always remembered the subjects that I liked the most. It’s the same for your child. Take notes on what she/he likes and then find ways to learn about it. For example, if you have a child who loves to catch frogs and snakes in the backyard, check out a book at the library about reptiles and amphibians. If you have a child who loves art, try various mediums and visit a local art museum.

2. Teachable moments: Take everyday experiences as an opportunity to teach your child something new about the world they live in. It could be as simple as using your senses to carefully investigate an object, or you could dig deeper. For example, discovering a monarch caterpillar could turn into a conversation about the life cycle of a monarch butterfly or playing with matchbox cars could turn into a lesson on sorting, matching and counting. Bringing awareness to ordinary, everyday things shifts your child's perspective and opens the door for more learning to occur.

3. Positive choices: There are times when I ask Laina to do something and she will flat out refuse. She’s not deliberately being disrespectful, it’s just not a choice that she wants to make. However, giving her choices, supports her need to think independently. Even if both choices are ones that I chose, I'm still allowing for her to have some control. I might say, “Would you like to brush your teeth first, or put on your pajamas?” She is given the freedom to choose, within the boundaries I've set for her. It's a win-win.

4. Good behavior, before bad: It’s easy to see the things our children are doing wrong, because they’re learning. However, if all they hear is constant corrections and reprimanding, eventually they don’t want to hear it anymore, which leads to more bad behavior. Children also crave your attention, so they do what they know will get a response from you (whether it be good or bad). So, whenever you see your child doing something good (especially if it’s something she/he has struggled with), acknowledge it right away. If children can see that good behavior is what gets your attention, then those are the things that they are likely to do more of.

5. Questions: I think children know more than we are aware of and may have ideas that we’ve never thought of. If we are constantly serving them answers and solutions, it will be difficult for them to develop the tools to think for themselves. Asking questions challenge children to think independently and come to their own conclusions, which are great problem-solving skills to have. Ask questions like: What do you think will happen when we do this? Why do think that happened? Can you tell me about it? How do you think he feels?

6. Independence: It’s sometimes easier and faster to do things for your child, especially when they’re learning new skills (such as getting dressed or

tying their shoes). However, taking the time to teach them how to do things, not only gives them pride in themselves, but also makes life easier for you. Letting them push through their frustration, might be difficult to listen to, but when they do succeed, the joy on their faces makes it worth the struggle. Furthermore, trusting your child to, for example, feed the family pet or clear the breakfast dishes builds their confidence and self-worth.

7. Schedule: When children know what to expect, they are less likely to fight you when it’s time to move onto the next thing. Sometimes things change, but if you’re able to maintain even a loose schedule, you will find your day goes a lot more smoothly for everyone. Furthermore, staying on track helps your kids feel more secure and helps you feel more in control of your day.

What important parenting lessons have you learned?

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